Past is in the Past
by SplishySplash
Summary: Ziva shares what happens to her while in Africa.


**Title: Past is in the Past**

**Author: SplishySplash, Ihave207Bones**

**Pairing: Tony/Ziva**

**Spoilers: Season 7**

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Ziva talks about what happened during her capture**

"_. . . She'll talk when she's ready." _

Tony sat behind his desk and his head rested on his hand, watching the woman type furiously at her computer and occasionally mumbling something in Hebrew. She wasn't the same since her return from Africa, but that was to be expected from three months in confinement and she hadn't said anything since.

She slammed her hands on her desk and stood up, storming away from her desk causing McGee to jump. Tony shook his head and got to his feet to follow her. She walked into the women's bathroom and he was inside before the door could shut, standing behind her as she ran water over her face. He waited until she stood to full height, but didn't turn around only to hang her head. "Do you need something, Tony?"

He turned to lock the door and the click was deafening. "You seem tense, is there something you want to talk about?" He asked leaning against the back wall, his arm resting on the tampon machine.

"I do not have anything to talk about." Ziva answered, he watched her eyes fluttered close and remained quiet. "It is just that. . ."

Tony took a step closer to Ziva. "It's just that what?" He asked softly, she shook her head and a lone tear ran down her cheek. "You know you can talk to me, right Ziva?"

She broke down completely and placed a hand on the counter for support, with her hair fanning across her face. Tony waited just a moment before gathering her into her arm and she flinched before succumbing into his embrace, crying into his suit jacket. What the hell happened to her? One of a million things ran through his head as he kissed the top of her head, rub soft patterned on her back and whispered words of comfort to her. Her sobs soon subsided to muted hiccups, but her grip didn't waver and neither did his.

Eventually she broke away from him and wiped the tears from her cheeks as she turned away. "I am sorry." She said hoarsely taking a step away from him.

He watched as she squared her shoulders, forcing herself to be bigger and he took a step towards her. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Ziva. I can't even begin to picture what you went through. . ."

"That is no excuse for me being so weak." She said angrily and turned to face him.

He grabbed her face and forced her gaze at him. "You are not weak, Ziva." He said firmly. "You are the strongest person I know. . ."

Her gaze dropped to the floor as she shook her head negatively. "I am not, I allowed for everything to happen. I should have known better." She pushed him away and placed her hands on her hips defensively, attempting to make herself intimidating.

_Take me back to the Damocles_

After a moment of awkward silence, she grew frustrated that Tony wasn't backing off when she exploded. "You want to know what happened to me? I put myself in a position that I was captured by terrorists because I was angry that I was betrayed. I was blinded by fury that I walked aboard the Damocles with the intent of identifying rogue Mossad agents and take hostages to get information that the Director wanted." She said breathing heavily. "But you know what? He already knew the information. The bastard sent me to Africa to die. They didn't kill me that is for one thing and I was tied to a chair so I could not kill myself"

Tony cringed as he reached out for her, she shook him away and continued. "Do you want to know what they did to me instead? From the moment I got on land the terrorists would line up outside my cell and take turns raping me, one after another after another until they got creative or got board and came in by twos and threes and fours at all hours of the day. When I wouldn't talk, Saleem would come in and interrogate me with his fists or his gun or any other form of torture." Tony paled as she continued. "He would ask me about NCIS and I wouldn't answer, then he would inject me with a truth serum and ask again."

"I did not tell him anything about NCIS or Mossad and he beat me some more, he beat me until I miscarried." She said icily and her words echoed. "I was pregnant with one of those bastards child. I just wanted to die."

_I am prepared to die_

He was at a complete loss of words. Her experience was a million times worst than he could imagine and with her back to the wall she slid the floor and he gathered her into his lap as she began to sob uncontrollably, with tears leaking out of his own eyes. "Please tell me that you don't have those feelings anymore." He whispered into her hair as her shoulders shook. "Please Ziva."

"I do not know what I feel anymore." She cried into his chest.

_Maybe I can't live without you_

"I meant what I said, Ziva. I can't live without you." He said pressing his lips to her hair again. "Let me help you."

_Of all the people, it had to be you_

She looked up at him as her sobs subsided again. "Okay." She whispered as he rested his forehead on hers and the corner of his mouth turned up just slightly as his nose brushed against hers. Her eyes closed and she focused on calming herself down. Her attention turned from her hellish summer to the smell that surrounded Tony, a hint of the Axe shampoo, his Armani cologne and something that she couldn't quite place and the warmth that he provided was comforting. A shaky sigh escaped her lips and he pulled back slightly, his bright green eyes shining with concern.

It was her turn to smile slightly and Tony hesitated before brushing his nose against her again as his hand moved up to cup her cheek, slowly pressing his lips against hers softly and she knew that he was just as devastated as she was and she didn't push him away.

He pulled away before she had time to respond and he sat up more fully as tears still leaked from her eyes. "Again." She whispered. Leaning forward again, he kissed her again and she responded, kissing him back. He pulled back slightly, his lips lingering next to hers. "Tony."

He pressed another gentle kiss to her lips before resting his forehead against hers. She opened her eyes and met his gaze.

"Don't stop." She whispered against his lips.

He looked skeptically at her. "Are you sure?"

"Please?"

He did as she requested and kissed her again in longer and repeated kisses. The sweet idle kisses were not asking for anything in return, but pouring both of their past experience into them. Neither had experienced kissing to this degree, kissing because it felt good or to forget, for both kissing always tending to lead to the something that she wasn't ready for, yet. The moment that Tony's lips met hers made her forget her time in Africa and the time they had spent apart.

When the kisses stopped she laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad you found me."

He placed his head on top of hers and closed his eyes. "I'm glad I found you too." He whispered, his fingers playing lazily with her hair.

"Thank you." She said drowsily and soon dozed off.

_That was all in the past, and the past is the past. _

The women's bathroom had been locked for over an hour and more than six or seven women had come down to use Abby's bathroom, irritating the forensic scientist. She pounded the button and waited, the door opened with a loud ding and she attempted to step inside, but instead knocked into Gibbs who was stepping off the elevator.

"Sorry Gibbs." She said in surprise.

"Have you seen DiNozzo or David?" He asked, stepping back into the elevator as Abby again slapped the floor.

"Hang on, I'm on a mission." She answered shortly as she tapped her foot impatiently.

Gibbs' eyebrow raised as he glanced at her. "Are you late for a meeting?" He asked with a smirk.

She sighed and turned to face him. "No, but for some reason every female agent has come down here to use my bathroom." She said exasperated, but then a smile came to her face. "Did you need something?"

"Have you seen DiNozzo or David?" He asked as the door opened and they stepped into the squad room.

She looped her arm around Gibbs and followed him towards his desk. "No I haven't seen them." She said happily. "If you will excuse me, I have to figure out what is wrong with the bathroom up here." Gibbs sighed and decided to follow her to the restroom in question as she pushed the door and was slightly baffled when it didn't opened. "You would think the janitor would put a sign up."

Gibbs rolled his eyes as he pulled his lock pick and worked his magic. Abby pushed the door opened and gasped slightly at the sight of the couple against the orange wall, she stepped inside and was followed closely by the older man. Tony's eyes opened slowly and he tensed.

"Is everything okay, Tony?" Abby asked, Ziva shifted and her hand buried itself under his jacket, her fingers flexing around his tie and hiccupped quietly.

He nodded and he made eye contact with his boss. Gibbs stayed quiet as he assessed the situation, his senior field agent was sitting on the floor with the ex-agent, he took notice to the mascara stains on his jacket and dried tear streaks on her face. Gibbs concluded that she finally opened up to somebody and a soft smile filled his lips. "It will be." He brushed the dark curl out of her face. "She will be."


End file.
